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Every day consumers turn to review platforms like Yelp, Google my Business, and Facebook for input on purchase decisions both large and small. Companies need to treat this user-generated content as an integral part of their marketing.

The rising importance of reviews has led us to write a number of blog posts on how to generate positive reviews, how to monitor your reviews, and what to do if you get a negative review.

Reviews are something to be taken seriously, but heck, you can’t take everything to heart. Which leads me to this blog post. Today I want to turn the tables, let off a little steam and “review our customers.” The inspiration for this post came from a funny video  I found which introduces the idea of a “secret reverse Yelp,” one where the restaurant reviews the customers.

Every business has “those” customers. The ones you wish you could warn others about, or just the ones who you wish would change a little bit. Today, I will vent a little as I share my reverse reviews.

starstar The One Who Never Responds To Email

When we started working with this client, we thought we had just emailed them at a bad time, or perhaps even had the wrong email address. After confirming we had the correct address, it became evident this client was simply not responsive to any email communications. We would hear from them once a month, if that, yet we would send 2-3 emails a week. A project that could have been completed in a month ended up taking over 6 months, due to lack of responsiveness on the client’s part.

star The One That Reschedules Meetings and Phone Calls…Over, and Over, and Over again…

We had planned to talk at 2pm on a Wednesday. Around 2:15 I emailed asking if we were still on. At 4pm I received a email saying that they got caught up in other activities. This, or some variation of this, occurred four weeks in a row. I thought, surely if I set up an in person meeting they’ll have to make it. About 20 minutes prior to our in person meeting, I received an email saying: “Can’t make it. Will touch base later. Thx.” Thx? Thx?? That’s all I get after weeks of trying to set up a phone, and then an in person, meeting??

starstar The “Oh I Didn’t Notice You Invoiced Me, Sorry!”

The only reason they get two stars is because we did eventually get paid, and if we hadn’t, there are laws to protect us. This client (time and time again) “forgot” “didn’t see” or “accidentally skimmed over” email invoices. Soon, we learned that we had to ask for payment up front on projects we did for them.

star  The One Who Wants to Review Everything, But Doesn’t Approve in a Timely Manner

This client wished to review Social Media posts, Emails, and all comments and responses on Facebook. Retweets had to be approved. After diligently creating a content calendar with the proposed messages, and sending it to the client, we did not hear back for a few weeks. At which point, the content was no longer relevant. This client would not give up the reigns to their marketing, and ultimately, we were only able to do so much.

All in Good Fun

We love our clients. We really, truly do. Working with people who are so passionate about what they do is what makes us happy. But of course we have our qualms, and we know that it goes the other way as well. We know that there are reasons that meetings have to be rescheduled, or why someone didn’t reply to an email. That’s what makes our clients so great – they’re so committed to their businesses that they sometimes forget about us. And that’s fine! We’re just happy to get to work with such amazing individuals every day.

We hope that you have taken this blog lightly, and without offense. And if you are a marketing type in Indy and would like to come and share a few of your own customer reviews, join us for Beer:30 this Friday.

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